Has anyone else ever noticed that any statement following "not to be ___________ but, is exactly what the person said they are trying not to be. For instance "not to be rude but," rude statement coming up! Or "not to be disrespectful but . . ." guaranteed disrespectful statement to follow. One of my personal favorites is "I don't want to gossip but," Isn't that funny? Of course they want to gossip or they wouldn't be passing on the information. The worst part is that I don't think anything that has ever followed a "not to be _________ but," statement was something that needed to be said.
Perhaps this is a pet peeve of mine because I feel so strongly that using the word "but," is just negative anyway. If someone says, "I really like your new haircut but, it is a little too short". . ." Don't we just really hear them say "I think your hair is too short?" Really, everything we say before the word "but" is pretty much erased by that word. (hint: try replacing the word "but" with the word "and" and see how much less argumentative your conversations are). The "I don't want to be rude but," statement is even worse, It screams at the listener "I AM ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING RUDE!!"
Suggestion, if we have something to say and have to start it with the statement "I don't want to be: rude, disrespectful, petty, judgmental or any other negative personality trait" statement and you really don't want to be those things, just don't say it.
OK, that is my soap box for the day.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Be Careful What You Pray For
Have you ever heard anyone say, be careful what you pray for cause you just might get it? Well, I just want to take a moment and say, THAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE! And I am so grateful that it is.
Most of you know that Kerry and I have been married for almost 9 months now. When we got married he had a job and some empty acreage in one town and was renting the house that he and the children were living in. I had a house that was worth a LOT less than I owed on it in a town that is a three hour drive from his and a job that kept me out of town for a week at a time. The good news was I could live anywhere as long as I could get to an airport to go to work. So we kept both homes and both jobs with the hopes that he would be able to locate work somewhere near my house so we could give up the rental and maintain only one house. Then I could stop working and stay at home and be the mom. So for eight months we have been praying "Father, we want to have a mother in our home full time, please help up know how we can get down to one income and make this happen" Well, apparently the Lord decided that what we needed was a little leap of faith and not necessarily a plan. About 2 weeks before Christmas the my boss called me up and said that there would not be any work for me in 2009 and I would have to be laid-off. Well, my last day as a working mom was last Tuesday and I feel GREAT! It is so wonderful to get to Sunday afternoon with my family and not have to get packed and get to an airport.
Now some of you might be wondering, what about the houses and all that "important" stuff from before. Well, we still don't know. We are still working on that one. I do know that I am right where I should be right now and I am very happy about that! Great blessings sometimes come packaged as difficulties and trials. So please don't start feeling sorry for me about getting laid off from my job, it truly is a wonderful blessing! I am grateful.
Most of you know that Kerry and I have been married for almost 9 months now. When we got married he had a job and some empty acreage in one town and was renting the house that he and the children were living in. I had a house that was worth a LOT less than I owed on it in a town that is a three hour drive from his and a job that kept me out of town for a week at a time. The good news was I could live anywhere as long as I could get to an airport to go to work. So we kept both homes and both jobs with the hopes that he would be able to locate work somewhere near my house so we could give up the rental and maintain only one house. Then I could stop working and stay at home and be the mom. So for eight months we have been praying "Father, we want to have a mother in our home full time, please help up know how we can get down to one income and make this happen" Well, apparently the Lord decided that what we needed was a little leap of faith and not necessarily a plan. About 2 weeks before Christmas the my boss called me up and said that there would not be any work for me in 2009 and I would have to be laid-off. Well, my last day as a working mom was last Tuesday and I feel GREAT! It is so wonderful to get to Sunday afternoon with my family and not have to get packed and get to an airport.
Now some of you might be wondering, what about the houses and all that "important" stuff from before. Well, we still don't know. We are still working on that one. I do know that I am right where I should be right now and I am very happy about that! Great blessings sometimes come packaged as difficulties and trials. So please don't start feeling sorry for me about getting laid off from my job, it truly is a wonderful blessing! I am grateful.
Monday, January 5, 2009
True Friends Appreciate Their Differences
Today in Relief Society the lesson was about being a friend. Certainly, that is a subject that is apt to make one consider many of the amazing blessings in one’s life. As several of the women spoke about people who had been good friends to them it made me think of many who have blessed my life; my husband and children, parents, siblings, special cousins, aunts and uncles, and certainly many who are outside of my family (come on, don’t make me name names, you know who you are). Truly I have been blessed with an abundance of people in my life who I love and trust. I am grateful.
Then someone stood up and spoke of a close friend who had touched her life for good and ended her thoughts with this statement. “True friends appreciate their differences.” Wow! That rang true with me. While I am sure there are many that fit in this category, it made me think of only one person - my friend Nancy. Certainly we are different, but our similar core values make us able to employ these differences in a way that is both useful and uplifting. Often she sees things differently than I do, and I can go to her to get a better perspective on things. Well, at that point I was lost in my own thoughts and can not remember another word that was spoken in Relief Society, a bad habit that I really am trying to overcome. I spent the remainder of the meeting trying to figure out what makes Nancy’s perspective so valuable to me. Or in other words, why do some peoples differences make me shy away from their “advice” and the differences that Nancy and I have make me seek out her opinion. The answer is quite simple - Nancy is a true friend, in every possible way. Here is a list of things about Nancy that make her a true friend, and things that I am going to try to get better at so that I can be a better friend to everyone in my life.
"A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words"
1. She listens: She listens to my words lets me finish before she begins speaking. She listens to my heart and knows where my words are coming from and then speaks more to my feelings than my words.
2. She is unselfish: Nancy’s opinion about my decisions NEVER includes what is best for Nancy. In fact she is better than anyone else at separating her feelings from my decisions. Sometimes she says things like, “You know what I would want you to do, but this isn’t about me” Aaaah, refreshing.
3. She never tries to lead me away from my center: Nancy and I are not the same denomination, but we are both Christian and share the same perspective on every aspect of the Gospel that we have discussed (at least I think so) She is pure in heart and wants to stay close to the Lord and wants to help the people she knows stay close the Lord also. She would never encourage me to do something that would take me farther away from the spirit.
4. Nancy is happy: Have you ever noticed that happy people want the people around them to be happy and miserable people . . . well you get where that goes. One day a coworker of mine, who didn’t know Nancy but, knew of my friendship with her said to me, “Have you ever noticed how Nancy can brighten someone’s day just by saying hello to them?” Well it is because she is happy and she exudes positivity.
5. She is trust worthy: When Nancy gives me her word, I don’t have to wonder if she means it. I can share things with her that I am not ready to tell the rest of the world, because I know she will keep my confidence. I can do business with her because I know she will be honest and fair.
So, I have decided that I am going to try to be more like Nancy. My friend, if you read this, please know of my gratitude for your friendship and example. You are wonderful.
Then someone stood up and spoke of a close friend who had touched her life for good and ended her thoughts with this statement. “True friends appreciate their differences.” Wow! That rang true with me. While I am sure there are many that fit in this category, it made me think of only one person - my friend Nancy. Certainly we are different, but our similar core values make us able to employ these differences in a way that is both useful and uplifting. Often she sees things differently than I do, and I can go to her to get a better perspective on things. Well, at that point I was lost in my own thoughts and can not remember another word that was spoken in Relief Society, a bad habit that I really am trying to overcome. I spent the remainder of the meeting trying to figure out what makes Nancy’s perspective so valuable to me. Or in other words, why do some peoples differences make me shy away from their “advice” and the differences that Nancy and I have make me seek out her opinion. The answer is quite simple - Nancy is a true friend, in every possible way. Here is a list of things about Nancy that make her a true friend, and things that I am going to try to get better at so that I can be a better friend to everyone in my life.
"A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words"1. She listens: She listens to my words lets me finish before she begins speaking. She listens to my heart and knows where my words are coming from and then speaks more to my feelings than my words.
2. She is unselfish: Nancy’s opinion about my decisions NEVER includes what is best for Nancy. In fact she is better than anyone else at separating her feelings from my decisions. Sometimes she says things like, “You know what I would want you to do, but this isn’t about me” Aaaah, refreshing.
3. She never tries to lead me away from my center: Nancy and I are not the same denomination, but we are both Christian and share the same perspective on every aspect of the Gospel that we have discussed (at least I think so) She is pure in heart and wants to stay close to the Lord and wants to help the people she knows stay close the Lord also. She would never encourage me to do something that would take me farther away from the spirit.
4. Nancy is happy: Have you ever noticed that happy people want the people around them to be happy and miserable people . . . well you get where that goes. One day a coworker of mine, who didn’t know Nancy but, knew of my friendship with her said to me, “Have you ever noticed how Nancy can brighten someone’s day just by saying hello to them?” Well it is because she is happy and she exudes positivity.
5. She is trust worthy: When Nancy gives me her word, I don’t have to wonder if she means it. I can share things with her that I am not ready to tell the rest of the world, because I know she will keep my confidence. I can do business with her because I know she will be honest and fair.
So, I have decided that I am going to try to be more like Nancy. My friend, if you read this, please know of my gratitude for your friendship and example. You are wonderful.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Never Never Land
Yesterday was Christmas and my entire family (plus a few friends) were at my house. Having over 30 people over in my little house was going to be no big deal because it is AZ after all and we would set up tables outside and have plenty of room. Besides, the children would be outside riding bikes, or playing basketball or football or something more fun than being in the house. Well, we woke up Christmas morning to rain. No biggie, if it is raining here in the AM that means we are sure to have a nice afternoon right? NOPE! The weatherman picked Christmas day to have the only day of the year that it rained nearly all day long. So we all squeezed into my house and made the best of it. Talk about having a close family.
The only thing tha
t bummed me out a little was that usually when my family is all here we play outdoor games. You know we revert to our childhood and have ridiculously childish competitions. It is always really fun and we don't do it enough. I was sure the rain had prevented that from happening this year. Well, the rain let up for just a little while and my brothers found the jump ropes Talia got for Christmas because she wants to learn to do Double-Dutch. Next thing we knew everyone in the family was out there trying it. I don't want to brag . OK yes I do, 
but I am the official Double-Dutch champion in our family. All you younger and skinnier kids go home and practice and come back and try another day.
t bummed me out a little was that usually when my family is all here we play outdoor games. You know we revert to our childhood and have ridiculously childish competitions. It is always really fun and we don't do it enough. I was sure the rain had prevented that from happening this year. Well, the rain let up for just a little while and my brothers found the jump ropes Talia got for Christmas because she wants to learn to do Double-Dutch. Next thing we knew everyone in the family was out there trying it. I don't want to brag . OK yes I do, 
but I am the official Double-Dutch champion in our family. All you younger and skinnier kids go home and practice and come back and try another day. Bottom line, we had a great time making fools of ourselves (some more foolish than others) and acting like kids. Just like every time 
we get together.
we get together. 
Sunday, December 21, 2008
On faith
Thoughts from Kerry . . .
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. This first verse of the Bible is a profound basis for a person's faith. I believe in God. I believe that he is mightier and wiser than I. I believe that he is more intelligent and also kinder and more loving than I am. I believe that I can trust Him, and that I can discover His will and pleasure regarding me and my family. You may come to know me best by these four words: I believe in God.
I once created a computer application to decipher email based on the keys contained in a military Common Access Card. My software allowed someone to retain cryptographic protection of his personal email during the mandated period between turning a card in and receiving a new card. The mechanics are fairly simple. A person in possession of my software could use his old military card to decrypt all of his encrypted mail, re-encrypt it again with a soft certificate of his choosing, and turn in his card. When he received his new card he could use the software in a reverse mode to decrypt his email with the soft certificate and re-encrypt it with his updated card. The application works. It's good.
When God created the earth he saw that it was good. When he divided the night from the day, and when he set the sun and stars and moon to deliver their light to the surface, and when he created the rocks, rivers, plants and animals he said that all of these things were good. Some use words like good and evil as if they were mysterious or subject to debate. A thing is good if it accomplishes the purpose that its creator intended. A thing is evil (or bad) if it acts contrary to its intended purpose.
There may have been a soldier who decided that my software was bad. (I was fortunate enough to not be exposed to anyone's ire, but it probably happened.) Why would he think so? He may have misunderstood my intent. He may have been unclear on my instructions from my superiors. He may have been under the mistaken impression that it was possible to encrypt email with one card and decrypt it with another. He may have tried to use it to entertain himself and found it singularly unsuitable. There could have been thousands of reasons for a person's dissatisfaction with my little application, but none of these things make it bad. My application is good. I know. I created it, tested it and determined that it fulfilled my intended purpose.
I am also an application of Almighty God. I was created as a new mortal model, and given the name of a man on my birthday. God is now testing me. He will determine whether I am good or evil, and his judgment is not subject to the interpretations of either protesters or flatterers. His purpose is for me to keep his commandments, and to repent when I fall short. His commandments are the same for me as for every other person. If someone does not understand the commandments of God he may come to understand by asking our Heavenly Father in prayer, by reading the scriptures, and by diligently doing the things which he already understands. If a person is found wanting, he may choose to change. It's simple.
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. This first verse of the Bible is a profound basis for a person's faith. I believe in God. I believe that he is mightier and wiser than I. I believe that he is more intelligent and also kinder and more loving than I am. I believe that I can trust Him, and that I can discover His will and pleasure regarding me and my family. You may come to know me best by these four words: I believe in God.
I once created a computer application to decipher email based on the keys contained in a military Common Access Card. My software allowed someone to retain cryptographic protection of his personal email during the mandated period between turning a card in and receiving a new card. The mechanics are fairly simple. A person in possession of my software could use his old military card to decrypt all of his encrypted mail, re-encrypt it again with a soft certificate of his choosing, and turn in his card. When he received his new card he could use the software in a reverse mode to decrypt his email with the soft certificate and re-encrypt it with his updated card. The application works. It's good.
When God created the earth he saw that it was good. When he divided the night from the day, and when he set the sun and stars and moon to deliver their light to the surface, and when he created the rocks, rivers, plants and animals he said that all of these things were good. Some use words like good and evil as if they were mysterious or subject to debate. A thing is good if it accomplishes the purpose that its creator intended. A thing is evil (or bad) if it acts contrary to its intended purpose.
There may have been a soldier who decided that my software was bad. (I was fortunate enough to not be exposed to anyone's ire, but it probably happened.) Why would he think so? He may have misunderstood my intent. He may have been unclear on my instructions from my superiors. He may have been under the mistaken impression that it was possible to encrypt email with one card and decrypt it with another. He may have tried to use it to entertain himself and found it singularly unsuitable. There could have been thousands of reasons for a person's dissatisfaction with my little application, but none of these things make it bad. My application is good. I know. I created it, tested it and determined that it fulfilled my intended purpose.
I am also an application of Almighty God. I was created as a new mortal model, and given the name of a man on my birthday. God is now testing me. He will determine whether I am good or evil, and his judgment is not subject to the interpretations of either protesters or flatterers. His purpose is for me to keep his commandments, and to repent when I fall short. His commandments are the same for me as for every other person. If someone does not understand the commandments of God he may come to understand by asking our Heavenly Father in prayer, by reading the scriptures, and by diligently doing the things which he already understands. If a person is found wanting, he may choose to change. It's simple.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
I AM GLAD FOR MANY THINGS!
Tonight for family home evening we made a list of 100 things that we are grateful for. We went around the room and everyone said one thing until we had a list of 100. The only rule was that no one was allowed to argue with any one else’s answers. It actually came together pretty quickly, my mom was here so she had some that we wouldn’t have listed - I am sure that helped.
100 things we’re thankful for . . .
1. Talia (she was the scribe, we were very grateful for that)
2. Gravity
3. Grandkids
4. Gospel
5. Lisa / Wife
6. Shoes (that wasn’t even me)
7. Clothes
8. Fudgesicles
9. Faith
10. Kids
11. Husband
12. Jesus
13. Plants
14. Friends
15. Kitties
16. Parley P. Pratt (he is the childrens 4th great maternal grandfather)
17. Atonement
18. Book of Mormon
19. Sun
20. Carmen
21. Phone
22. Living Prophet
23. Warrior Book Series (Tobias has become an avid reader)
24. Earth
25. Water
26. Chocolate
27. Serena
28. Tobias
29. Music
30. Piano
31. Happiness
32. Yard
33. House
34. Car
35. Rocks
36. Bed
37. Sugar
38. Parents
39. Godhead
40. Food
41. Computer
42. Freedom / Country
43. Family Home Evening
44. Discipline
45. Meat
46. Internet
47. Job
48. Eyes
49. Humor
50. Free Dress Day / No uniform
51. Hard Work
52. School
53. Paper
54. Electricity
55. Plumbing
56. Bible
57. Stars
58. Technology
59. This activity (I have clever children)
60. Pine Trees
61. Understanding the real meaning of Christmas
62. Holy Ghost
63. Priesthood
64. Flowers
65. Make-up
66. Basketball
67. Neelah
68. Modern Medicine
69. Temple
70. Cadence
71. Cute People
72. Hare
73. Planes
74. Socks (again not me)
75. Free time
76. Health
77. Camera
78. Ocean
79. Daryk
80. My Piggyback
81. Money
82. Hair Holders
83. Lacking Knowledge
84. Learning
85. Words
86. Eric
87. Easy chair
88. Cookies
89. Brain
90. Vegetables
91. Watermelon
92. Yeah Me|
93. Queen Creek House / Pool
94. Winning
95. Tooth Tools (brushes, floss, etc)
96. Cherry Pie
97. Tennis Shoes Book Series
98. Showers
99. My Voice
100. Sabbath Day
100 things we’re thankful for . . .
1. Talia (she was the scribe, we were very grateful for that)
2. Gravity
3. Grandkids
4. Gospel
5. Lisa / Wife
6. Shoes (that wasn’t even me)
7. Clothes
8. Fudgesicles
9. Faith
10. Kids
11. Husband
12. Jesus
13. Plants
14. Friends
15. Kitties
16. Parley P. Pratt (he is the childrens 4th great maternal grandfather)
17. Atonement
18. Book of Mormon
19. Sun
20. Carmen
21. Phone
22. Living Prophet
23. Warrior Book Series (Tobias has become an avid reader)
24. Earth
25. Water
26. Chocolate
27. Serena
28. Tobias
29. Music
30. Piano
31. Happiness
32. Yard
33. House
34. Car
35. Rocks
36. Bed
37. Sugar
38. Parents
39. Godhead
40. Food
41. Computer
42. Freedom / Country
43. Family Home Evening
44. Discipline
45. Meat
46. Internet
47. Job
48. Eyes
49. Humor
50. Free Dress Day / No uniform
51. Hard Work
52. School
53. Paper
54. Electricity
55. Plumbing
56. Bible
57. Stars
58. Technology
59. This activity (I have clever children)
60. Pine Trees
61. Understanding the real meaning of Christmas
62. Holy Ghost
63. Priesthood
64. Flowers
65. Make-up
66. Basketball
67. Neelah
68. Modern Medicine
69. Temple
70. Cadence
71. Cute People
72. Hare
73. Planes
74. Socks (again not me)
75. Free time
76. Health
77. Camera
78. Ocean
79. Daryk
80. My Piggyback
81. Money
82. Hair Holders
83. Lacking Knowledge
84. Learning
85. Words
86. Eric
87. Easy chair
88. Cookies
89. Brain
90. Vegetables
91. Watermelon
92. Yeah Me|
93. Queen Creek House / Pool
94. Winning
95. Tooth Tools (brushes, floss, etc)
96. Cherry Pie
97. Tennis Shoes Book Series
98. Showers
99. My Voice
100. Sabbath Day
Monday, December 8, 2008
This kid is confusing!
Tobias aka: "the boy" is seven years old and in second grade. Sometimes his accademic ability just baffles me. It really seems like he has retained everything he has ever read or heard. And trust me when I tell you, he reads a lot. The other night we were riding in the car and the children were listening to a book on CD (caught myself there I almost said book on tape). In the story there was a greek philosopher who was explaining to some children that he had discovered using mathmatics that the sun doesn't go around the earth, but the earth goes around the sun. Tobias said, "hey, that was Galileo." I coulndn't stand it I asked him how whe could have possibly known that and he said that he read it in a book somewhere. I spent the next few days thinking that this boy can not possibly be only seven years old.
Then, we went to our ward party and I was trying to take a picture of the boy and this is what I got. OK, so maybe he is just a 7 year old boy. A seven year old with a LOT a facts in his head. Either way it is going to be a very short time before I am completely unable to help him with any of his accedemic duties.
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