Not to be rude but . . .

Has anyone else ever noticed that any statement following "not to be ___________ but, is exactly what the person said they are trying not to be. For instance "not to be rude but," rude statement coming up! Or "not to be disrespectful but . . ." guaranteed disrespectful statement to follow. One of my personal favorites is "I don't want to gossip but," Isn't that funny? Of course they want to gossip or they wouldn't be passing on the information. The worst part is that I don't think anything that has ever followed a "not to be _________ but," statement was something that needed to be said.

Perhaps this is a pet peeve of mine because I feel so strongly that using the word "but," is just negative anyway. If someone says, "I really like your new haircut but, it is a little too short". . ." Don't we just really hear them say "I think your hair is too short?" Really, everything we say before the word "but" is pretty much erased by that word. (hint: try replacing the word "but" with the word "and" and see how much less argumentative your conversations are). The "I don't want to be rude but," statement is even worse, It screams at the listener "I AM ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING RUDE!!"

Suggestion, if we have something to say and have to start it with the statement "I don't want to be: rude, disrespectful, petty, judgmental or any other negative personality trait" statement and you really don't want to be those things, just don't say it.

OK, that is my soap box for the day.