True Friends Appreciate Their Differences

Today in Relief Society the lesson was about being a friend. Certainly, that is a subject that is apt to make one consider many of the amazing blessings in one’s life. As several of the women spoke about people who had been good friends to them it made me think of many who have blessed my life; my husband and children, parents, siblings, special cousins, aunts and uncles, and certainly many who are outside of my family (come on, don’t make me name names, you know who you are). Truly I have been blessed with an abundance of people in my life who I love and trust. I am grateful.

Then someone stood up and spoke of a close friend who had touched her life for good and ended her thoughts with this statement. “True friends appreciate their differences.” Wow! That rang true with me. While I am sure there are many that fit in this category, it made me think of only one person - my friend Nancy. Certainly we are different, but our similar core values make us able to employ these differences in a way that is both useful and uplifting. Often she sees things differently than I do, and I can go to her to get a better perspective on things. Well, at that point I was lost in my own thoughts and can not remember another word that was spoken in Relief Society, a bad habit that I really am trying to overcome. I spent the remainder of the meeting trying to figure out what makes Nancy’s perspective so valuable to me. Or in other words, why do some peoples differences make me shy away from their “advice” and the differences that Nancy and I have make me seek out her opinion. The answer is quite simple - Nancy is a true friend, in every possible way. Here is a list of things about Nancy that make her a true friend, and things that I am going to try to get better at so that I can be a better friend to everyone in my life.

"A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words"

1. She listens: She listens to my words lets me finish before she begins speaking. She listens to my heart and knows where my words are coming from and then speaks more to my feelings than my words.
2. She is unselfish: Nancy’s opinion about my decisions NEVER includes what is best for Nancy. In fact she is better than anyone else at separating her feelings from my decisions. Sometimes she says things like, “You know what I would want you to do, but this isn’t about me” Aaaah, refreshing.
3. She never tries to lead me away from my center: Nancy and I are not the same denomination, but we are both Christian and share the same perspective on every aspect of the Gospel that we have discussed (at least I think so) She is pure in heart and wants to stay close to the Lord and wants to help the people she knows stay close the Lord also. She would never encourage me to do something that would take me farther away from the spirit.
4. Nancy is happy: Have you ever noticed that happy people want the people around them to be happy and miserable people . . . well you get where that goes. One day a coworker of mine, who didn’t know Nancy but, knew of my friendship with her said to me, “Have you ever noticed how Nancy can brighten someone’s day just by saying hello to them?” Well it is because she is happy and she exudes positivity.
5. She is trust worthy: When Nancy gives me her word, I don’t have to wonder if she means it. I can share things with her that I am not ready to tell the rest of the world, because I know she will keep my confidence. I can do business with her because I know she will be honest and fair.

So, I have decided that I am going to try to be more like Nancy. My friend, if you read this, please know of my gratitude for your friendship and example. You are wonderful.